Tea and Cricket
by Rochelle Templer
Summary: A collection of short pieces involving the Fifth Doctor, his friends and the adventures they have together.
1. Discovery

**Author's Note** : This chapter takes place during the first episode of "Mawdryn Undead".

* * *

Discovery

' _Maybe Tegan has a point,'_ the Doctor mused as he ran toward the TARDIS. _'It does seem as if improbable things tend happen to me. And a few of them…well, all right, many of them…do end up being trouble.'_

It had all started innocently enough with a leisurely stroll through time and space. The Doctor knew that Tegan was still coming to terms with her experience with the Mara. As a result, he wanted to take his time traveling to their next destination: somewhere quiet and relaxing. Maybe the Eye of Orion. He had a feeling Tegan would like it. He was sure that Nyssa would.

However, all of his thoughts of a quiet, relaxing holiday were brought to an abrupt halt when he found the TARDIS trapped in a warp ellipse of a star-liner which was also traveling in time and space. Nyssa had said that the chances of that occurring were several billion to one against. She wasn't the precise mathematician Adric was, but the Doctor trusted her estimate anyway.

Their problem only got worse with the near collision with the star-liner, the forced materialization onto the ship, and then their inability to dematerialize away from it. The Doctor had started to search his mind for ways to break the news to Tegan that they might be having a much longer holiday than he had anticipated when a signal from his console alerted him to a possible solution.

' _Ah, yes, the transmat capsule. That must be what is interfering with the TARDIS. If I can take care of that, we can escape and go on that holiday Tegan wanted.'_

The Doctor smiled as he ran for the TARDIS doors. Even the most boring, sedate destinations he could think of were infinitely preferable to being trapped on this star-liner for eternity. For once, it seemed that the answer to his problems would be a straightforward one.

He dashed inside, made sure to dodge the person already at the controls and flicked a switch that would enter the coordinates he was about to type into the TARDIS' navigational system. Once that was done, all Nyssa would have to do is set the TARDIS in motion.

' _I better make sure to let her know that she'll need to….'_

Suddenly, the Doctor's line of thought stopped. There was someone standing in front of the console. But he'd left Nyssa and Tegan behind at the star-liner's controls. So who…?

The Doctor slowly lifted his head. Although the ship appeared to be deserted, he expected to discover that one of the crew or a passenger had wandered in. What he had not expected to see was a young man, not much more than a boy, in a school uniform standing across from him.

"Who are you?" the Doctor said, instantly curious. The young man looked startled by the question, but only for a second. Then, the Doctor watched him engage in a momentary struggle to control his demeanor.

"I'm Turlough, sir," he finally said with a carefully crafted smile. "I'm terribly glad to find you here. I was starting to think I was all alone."

Turlough held out his hand which the Doctor shook. It was well-hidden, but he could sense trepidation lurking behind Turlough's pleasant manner. No, not just trepidation…fear. But what was he afraid of, exactly?

"Hello Turlough," he replied cheerfully. "I'm the Doctor. And don't worry. You're certainly not alone. And you're quite safe here in the TARDIS. And…and by the way, how did you happen to end up here?"

Another flicker of uncertainty appeared in Turlough's eyes which disturbed the Doctor. It was almost as if Turlough felt the need to calculate every single word and gesture.

"I was walking on the grounds of my school with my friend," Turlough answered. "And then suddenly, this large, grey capsule appeared. Hippo…that's my friend….he was scared and ran off to find the Headmaster."

"But you weren't afraid?" the Doctor asked, intrigued by how Turlough would answer this.

"Well, it did startle me," Turlough replied. "But it didn't seem like something that would harm me in any way, so I moved closer to get a better look at it. A door opened and I was curious so I went inside. I'd never seen anything like it. I saw what looked like controls and I couldn't stop myself from trying a couple out to see what would happen. Next thing I knew, I ended up on this ship. I wandered around and found this police box. Well, you can imagine how surprised I was to find all of this in it."

The Doctor watched Turlough while the young man recited his story. He was fairly certain that Turlough had given him the basics of what probably happened. However, he also believed that Turlough was giving those events a very different context than what they originally had.

One thing was clear in the Doctor's mind right away: whatever Turlough was afraid of, it wasn't that he had been whisked away by a transmat capsule to some strange ship. He'd had enough experience with humans to recognize when they were overwhelmed by alien surroundings. Also, it was more than a little implausible that Turlough just happened to work the controls in such a way to lead him back to the capsule's point of origin.

Then there was the fact that, when he had run into the TARDIS, the Doctor had noted that Turlough was studying the control panels not as someone who had no idea what they were, but with the practiced demeanor of someone looking for the basics such as the ignition and directional controls….someone who had had experience with space craft before.

No, no matter how much Turlough seemed to want to pass himself off as a lost school boy from present-day Earth, the Doctor was positive that that was not the case. In fact, the longer he was around Turlough, the more he became suspicious that the young man was not even human. True, the hints were subtle, and he doubted that most humans would have ever suspected it. Nevertheless, the Doctor noticed little details: a split second difference in how often Turlough blinked, a fractionally different rhythm to his breathing, a trace of an accent not native to Earth hidden behind a masterful imitation of a British one.

' _Alien then…but living on Earth and attending school with humans while pretending to be one of them,'_ he mused. _'But why? And why would he risk his cover by operating the transmat capsule? Do his people have something to do with the spaceship?'_

"Indeed," the Doctor nodded, making sure to keep his tone neutral. He was about to ask another more direct question, but paused instead. As much as he wanted to know who Turlough really was and what he was doing here, he was still unsure of what Turlough was afraid of. Of him? Of exposure? Or was there something…or someone…else?

The Doctor immediately discarded the question he had in mind. He was pretty sure Turlough would just give him another lie and the last thing he needed right now were more lies which would only further obscure the truth. For now, the best thing to do was play along.

Play along and maybe lessen some of that fear.

For starters, he gave Turlough an encouraging smile. "Well, I'm afraid we're all in a bit of a spot right now," the Doctor told him. "And I could use your help. If you're up for it."

"Certainly," Turlough said, his features brightening marginally. "What do you need me to do?"

' _That's the spirit,'_ the Doctor thought as he grinned again. He imagined that Turlough might relish the chance to use his intellect in a way he wouldn't have been able to while hiding in a boy's school on Earth.

Besides that, the Doctor figured he probably could use Turlough's help if his guesses about the young man's capabilities were true.

"Well, for starters you can…."

"Doctor? Doctor, are you in there?"

The Doctor glanced over to see Nyssa and Tegan rush into the TARDIS. Their expressions of concern immediately changed to confusion. Most likely over their guest.

"Doctor," Nyssa said, taking a step forward. "What…?"

"Please hold that thought for just a moment, Nyssa," he said. Then he turned back to Turlough. "That is Nyssa and Tegan. And…I'll be back in a second."

He knew that his leaving was abrupt, but while talking to Turlough, he remembered some equipment that could help him sort out this mess with the transmat beam. It wasn't until that very second that he remembered where they were and the Doctor figured he better fetch them as soon as he thought of it.

As he walked back out into the console room, the Doctor introduced Turlough to them and told them Turlough had appeared from the transmat capsule. As usual, Tegan was immediately suspicious.

"From Earth?" she said.

"The capsule just appeared," Turlough said blandly. "It was very strange."

The Doctor sighed inwardly. It appeared that Turlough was going to persist in his lying. It was disappointing, but the Doctor couldn't get too upset about it yet. Not until he knew more about Turlough's situation.

He also decided that it would be better to keep his conclusions and suspicions about Turlough to himself for now. Which was why he didn't object when Turlough begged to come with him in the transmat capsule.

' _It'd be easier for me to keep an eye on him,'_ he reasoned. _'And if he does have…less than positive motives, it'd be better to keep him away from Nyssa and Tegan.'_

The Doctor trotted over to the capsule and set the coordinates for Earth. Out of the corner of his eye, the Doctor noted that Turlough was watching him work, clearly interested and most certainly absorbing every scrap of information he could.

As worrying as his current problems were, the Doctor continued to be concerned about the young man accompanying him. Their meeting might have been an interesting coincidence, but the Doctor doubted that. There were too many unlikely events happening at once. Something else was probably at work, manipulating these events. He just couldn't see what it was at that moment.

Still, no matter what mechanisms had caused them to meet, the Doctor was sure that there was trouble behind them. Whether it was for himself or Turlough or both of them, he didn't know. Something was causing the skittishness that Turlough was trying desperately to hide though and the Doctor wished he could get to the bottom of it.

The Doctor frowned as he walked outside and got out his equipment to start looking for the beam transmitter. As soon as the TARDIS was free, he would start to work on solving the mystery of who Turlough was, what he was up to, and just how much trouble the young man was in.

He just hoped that it would all turn out to be as easy to solve as this problem with the transmat capsule and warp ellipse. Or at the very least, it wouldn't be something that got Tegan too upset.


	2. Perspective

Perspective

 **Author's Note:** This takes place a little after the episode Black Orchid.

* * *

"Tegan, why are wearing your costume again?"

Tegan turned from the mirror to see Nyssa standing in the doorway. "I don't know. It's just…." She turned back toward the mirror, swaying from side to side so the skirt twirled. "It's such a lovely dress, inn't it? And I had so much fun in it. Besides, I need a break from that uniform once in a while."

"Yes, I understand," Nyssa said, a smile appearing on her lips. "It was fun. And quite remarkably, really. How much Ann looked like me."

"That was a crazy coincidence, wasn't it?" Tegan said, smiling back at Nyssa's reflection behind her. "Bet you never thought you'd run into your twin on twentieth century Earth."

"You're right." Nyssa stepped into the room and stood next to Tegan. "That hadn't occurred to me at all. I suppose it could support the idea that genetic configurations also follow the rules of probability like so many other things do."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning that it was inevitable that there would be someone who looked just like me somewhere in the universe," Nyssa answered. "Although the chances of me meeting said person were astronomical. Adric could give you the exact odds better than I could."

"I'm sure he could," Tegan said with a slight frown. "But no thank you. It's not like the numbers would mean that much to me anyway."

Tegan turned around in front of the mirror one more time before stopping and moving to sit down onto the bed. Nyssa sat down next to her, concerned about the look that appeared in Tegan's eyes.

"Tegan? Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Tegan said, her words coming out in a rush. "I was just thinking about that whole thing. The Doctor playing cricket. Adric stuffing himself at the buffet table."

"Oh yes," Nyssa said, rolling her eyes. "He certainly made a pig of himself."

"That's just what teenage boys do though," Tegan snorted. "They need all that energy to be so sure of themselves." She ran her palm along her knee. "I was also thinking about the party. Wearing costumes and dancing the Charleston."

"Yes. You were right, Tegan. It might not be as graceful as the dances I learned on Traken, but the Charleston was a lot of fun. And you are quite good at it."

"Thank you," Tegan said, grinning at her. "I practiced for weeks to get it right. Nice to see it was good for more than trying to impress Alan McLern from my biology class."

Nyssa nodded, reaching into the open box to grab a corner from her own costume.

"What I'm trying to say is…that whole mad adventure we just had," Tegan continued. "It all felt so…strange, didn't it?"

Nyssa's brows furrowed. "Strange? Yes, I suppose it did at first. I'd never been to a cricket match or a costume ball. Neither had Adric, I imagine. Still, it was no stranger than any of the other experiences we've had while traveling in the TARDIS."

"That's just it," Tegan replied. "It felt strange to me too. And it shouldn't. Not to me. Maybe I didn't grow up in the twenties, but I'd been to parties before. I've been to cricket matches and talked to people about the weather and food and the cute outfit I saw someone wearing."

Tegan stood back up and walked closer to the mirror so all she could see was the dress she was wearing. "Even when I was having fun, in the back of my mind I was thinking how weird it all was. I kept expecting an alien to crash down onto the back lawn or for one of the guests to turn out to be a robot or something. And when we saw what had happened to poor George…I thought for sure that the Doctor was going to say that some alien parasite or weird machine had caused it."

"That would have been a reasonable guess," Nyssa said. "But looking back on it, George didn't show any symptoms of disease. If I had had more time to actually think about it, I probably would have assumed a genetic mutation. Or deliberate mutilation by someone else which sadly did turn out to be the correct theory."

Nyssa stood and walked over to stand next to Tegan. "Were you disappointed that there was no non-Terran elements involved?"

"No, I was relieved," Tegan blurted out. "For once, some awful alien wasn't ruining everything."

Tegan looked like she was about to say something more, but her expression immediately softened and became contrite. "Nyssa, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that I…."

"That's all right, Tegan," Nyssa assured her. "I understood what you meant."

"No, it isn't all right," Tegan insisted, her hands curling into loose fists. "You're my friend. So's the Doctor. And Adric when he's not being a complete drongo." She let out a long sigh as her hands relaxed and smoothed down her skirt.

"I'm just not comfortable with all these familiar things becoming weird to me, that's all," she added. "Is that what traveling around in this crate is doing to me? Making me become an outsider even on Earth?"

"You're not an outsider, Tegan," Nyssa said. "You're always one of us. And when you finally do return to Earth and to your own time, I'm sure you will feel like part of that world again."

Tegan went back to the bed and plopped down. She propped an arm onto her knee, her chin resting on the heel of her hand. "Really? I'm not so sure of that."

Nyssa sat down next to her again and pulled more of her costume out of the box, studying the blue and purple hues of the fabric. The colors reminded her of birds on Traken. They would sing quiet, almost mournful songs in the mornings as the sun rose.

"Perhaps it's simply a matter of perspective," Nyssa offered.

"Perspective? What do you mean?"

"I mean, right now, you see Earth, its people and its cultures and history from the perspective of a visitor. Because that is what you are right now. You're not part of the experience other Earthlings have. You have your own unique experience. But experience doesn't erase who you are. Not unless you choose for it to do so."

Nyssa placed a hand on Tegan's arm. "You're no less from Earth now than you were before. Just as I'm still from Traken no matter where I go. It's only your perspective that's changed. It's not necessarily good or bad or the end of anything. It's simply different."

She sat the fabric down as Tegan shifted on the bed so they could face each other. "When you do return to Heathrow, I imagine you'll have a new appreciation for your world and the life you have there. I like to believe though, that you'll have enough room in your heart for your time here with us as well."

Tegan put her hand over Nyssa's and smiled at her. She didn't acknowledge it out loud, but she had an inkling of how much it cost Nyssa to tell her some of these things. Tegan wished she could be as generous of a friend.

"Thank you," she said again. It didn't feel like enough, but the look in Nyssa's eyes seemed to indicate that maybe it was.

For a moment, Tegan was unsure of what to do. Then she spotted the dress that Nyssa had partially pulled out of the box.

"Hey, you should change too. We could have a party here. On the TARDIS. We've certainly got enough room for it. And besides, we've got unfinished business. Neither one of us got a chance to dance with the Doctor."

"That's right," Nyssa said, her face brightening. "He missed the whole party when he got lost in the corridors of the Cranleighs' house."

"Serves him right though for being worse than a cat with his curiosity," Tegan chuckled. "You think he's much of a dancer?"

"The Doctor has many talents," Nyssa shrugged. Then another smile appeared on her face. "Though I have my doubts that dancing is one of them."

"Yeah, and I bet Adric could use some help too."

"Oh Adric was all right. For a beginner."

"Maybe, but he better learn to be more than 'all right'," Tegan nodded sagely. "Especially if he decides to grow up and go on a date or whatever it is that people from Alzarius do with someone special."

"I agree," Nyssa said with a prim nod of her own. "He could also stand to learn to take instruction now and again."

Tegan laughed and jumped up to grab her purse so she could put a little makeup on. It wouldn't be much of a party if she didn't try to look and feel her best. Then again, with the Doctor's eccentricities and Adric's awkwardness, it might not be much of a party anyway.

No matter what though, Tegan was sure that their little party wouldn't be boring. And that was as familiar of a feeling as she needed right now.


	3. Scenic Route

Scenic Route

 **Author's Note** : This takes place shortly after Enlightenment and Mawdryn Undead. And I promise that will make sense by the end of this chapter. XD

* * *

Alistair Lethbridge-Stewart sighed and scrutinized the papers in front of him again.

He was in the middle of grading the midterm exams and for the most part, there had been no resounding successes among them. No perfect scores or even near perfect ones. Also there were still the usual utter failures from the students who did not seem to find any reason to care about the education.

Nevertheless, there was some improvement in the class averages and improvement was still improvement. Alistair figured he would have to continue to build on the modest successes he had had so far this year.

He had just finished writing some comments on the latest paper when a sound just outside his lodgings caught his attention. A familiar sound that brought a smile to his face. He waited about a minute before finally calling out.

"Come in, Doctor."

A few seconds later, the door opened and a young man with blond hair and a wide smile walked in. _'So, it's the latest one again,'_ Alistair thought as he rose out of his chair to meet him.

"Brigadier," the Doctor grinned at him, reaching over to shake Alistair's hand.

"Good to see you again, Doctor," Alistair replied. He waved a hand at the couch so they could sit down next to each other. "What brings you back this time? Not another alien attempting to impersonate you, I hope."

"No, no, nothing like that," the Doctor said. "I just came by to make sure there were no ill effects from running into your earlier self."

"Yes, I suppose that was a close shave. But as you can see, I'm as fit as a fiddle. By the way, how are your companions? Tegan and Nyssa?" The smile fell from the Doctor's face, a detail that Alistair did not fail to notice.

"Tegan is fine," the Doctor said. "She's on holiday on a lovely planet just a few years into your past."

"I can't say I blame her for that. Traveling with you is bound to be chaotic at the very least. A holiday should do her a world of good.

"Nyssa…she's no longer traveling," the Doctor said, his voice slow and hesitant. "She…found a place where she felt she belonged."

Alistair frowned. A definite chance came over the Doctor's demeanor as he spoke about Nyssa. There was a sadness that he hadn't seen in the Doctor's eyes ever since his exile on Earth had ended during his third incarnation. It disquieted him, but Alistair figured that it was best to not pry into something that might be best left alone.

Besides, he had another matter of his own that he needed to discuss with the Doctor.

"By the way, Doctor. That young man, Turlough. You did say that he made it off Mawdryn's ship unharmed."

"Yes," the Doctor said, suddenly becoming more animated again. "He's on holiday with Tegan, actually. I thought it would be good for him after some of our recent adventures."

Alistair noted how the Doctor had mentioned "adventures", but didn't comment on it. Although, for a moment, he wondered just how many places the Doctor had been to in the week since he had last seen him.

"Quite," he said. "However, I hope you haven't forgotten that he is still on the rolls here at Brendon. So far, I've been able to account for his absence the same way you are, Doctor. By saying that he's on holiday. But that won't last for long. He will be missed eventually."

The Doctor's face suddenly became solemn. "I can't bring him back, Brigadier. Turlough doesn't belong here."

"Well, I admit that he does have problems with fitting in, but I hardly think…."

"You don't understand," the Doctor interrupted. "Turlough is not of your Earth. He was brought here. Against his will, I suspect. He wants to go home."

"You mean…alien?" Alistair said. The Doctor nodded his head. "Well then. That does explain a lot. I always knew that there was something…different about the boy."

"I know that finding a way to explain this might create some complications for you and your fellow staff members at the school," the Doctor added. "But I had hoped you could understand why I can't force Turlough to stay here when this is not his home."

"Of course," Alistair said. "Quite understandable. As for complications, I may have retired from UNIT, but I still have plenty of contacts there. They will make the necessary arrangements to explain his disappearance. As a matter of fact, it will be easier to do this for Turlough than it might for most other people."

"What do you mean?"

"Well the only people who have actually asked about Turlough are that boy, Ibbotson and the solicitor who had arranged for Turlough to attend this school. Very odd chap that man is too."

"I see," the Doctor nodded. "Well, I'll leave it in your capable hands, Brigadier. Oh and by the way, Turlough wanted to inform you that Ibbotson wasn't the one who wrecked your car and that he was the one responsible for that chemistry lab accident with the acid."

Alistair's mouth fell open as he slapped the arm of his chair with his palm. "I knew it. I knew that Turlough was the one who was really responsible for that fiasco, but I couldn't prove it. Until now that is."

"Yes," the Doctor said. "Anyway, Turlough was hoping that you could arrange it so that his misdeeds would not get Ibbotson expelled. I think he is trying to make amends for his behavior of late."

"That's not much of an apology though," Alistair frowned. "He should have told me himself. And apologized to Ibbotson in person."

"Perhaps so," the Doctor replied. "But that would have meant bringing him back here to Brendon and I'm afraid he might have taken that as a breach of trust."

"I suppose you have a point," Alistair said. "All right, Doctor. I'll make sure that Ibbotson is taken care of as well. I just hope that young man will learn to make better choices in his friends after this."

"I doubt he'll run into anyone quite like Turlough again," the Doctor said with a rueful smile. He stood up and shook Alistair's hand again. "It was good to see you again, Brigadier. But now, I must dash. I imagine Tegan is about finished with her vacation. I'm fairly certain Turlough will be."

"Just a moment, Doctor. Might I have one last word with you about Turlough?"

The Doctor cocked his head to the side as he sat back down. Alistair could tell that he had piqued the Doctor's curiosity, a surefire way to get his attention.

"If this is still about having him stay, my mind is…."

"No, no of course not," Alistair assured him. "If he is indeed alien, then by all means, he should be allowed to leave. And I suspect that you are correct about his being brought here against his will. That solicitor I told you about, the one who handled Turlough's admission to the school along with the boy's finances? Turlough never did seem at ease around him. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that Turlough despised him. He never wanted to be left alone in the same room with him and often refused to see him."

"I see," the Doctor said with a nod. "Well, if it makes you feel any better, Brigadier, I suspect that you won't have to deal with this solicitor much longer. Once he realizes that Turlough is gone, I imagine he will pull a disappearing act of his own."

"You're probably right," Alistair said. "By the way, did I hear you correctly that you are planning on taking the boy home?"

There was a flicker of something Alistair thought he recognized, but couldn't quite place in the Doctor's eyes. "It's what Turlough wants. Why?"

"I was just thinking. This whole business with Mawdryn made me realize that there was a great deal I had forgotten about these last few years. One of them was something Turlough had said to me about a month after he started classes here. I had mentioned contacting his parents about a concern I had, and he said that they were dead. That he had no family, no one he belonged to."

"That was probably part of his cover," the Doctor replied.

"You weren't there when he said it," Alistair said. "I know that Turlough has a tendency to lie about himself and about the things that he's done. But when he said that, the way that he said it…Doctor, it's one of the very few times I was convinced that Turlough was telling me the whole truth. That boy has no one. On this world or any other."

The Doctor nodded silently while Alistair leaned forward, lacing his fingers.

"Turlough is many things, Doctor. He's selfish, devious, cowardly and can be quite cruel if he puts his mind to it. However, he is also highly intelligent, doggedly determined and quite adaptable. I also believe that there is something more to him beneath the surface. Don't ask me to define it. I doubt I could. But whatever it is, it is telling me that he has the potential to be an exceptional young man. If someone could reach him and give him the correct guidance."

He leaned forward, making sure to meet the Doctor's gaze. "It's your TARDIS, your travels, so it would be your decision, of course. But I do ask that you consider it."

"You mean take Turlough with me on my travels?" the Doctor said. "Make him one of my companions? Impossible. Turlough has already said that he wishes to go home. I can't make him stay if he doesn't want to."

For a moment, Alistair considered letting the matter end there. After all, the Doctor would be responsible for Turlough if he went through with it. If the Doctor wasn't willing, then it wouldn't be advisable at all. But then he saw that flicker again, and Alistair was finally able to place it. It was hope. Hope that was being besieged by doubt and regret.

It was then that Alistair was certain of what he needed to do.

"Of course, if that is what the boy wants, then you should take him home," he said. "You know more about these matters than I do. However, having talked to some of your past companions, I gathered the impression that a journey in your TARDIS is usually not as simple as going from point A to point B. That perhaps you get rather sidetracked."

"Side tracked? Is that what they said?" the Doctor replied with what could only be called a pout. "I'm certain that they exaggerated."

"Judging from my own experiences in your TARDIS, I doubt they embellished as much as you might think," Alistair smirked at him. "At any rate, when taking Turlough home, might I suggest taking the 'scenic route'?"

"Scenic route?"

"Quite. Perhaps a leisurely journey is just what the boy needs. A chance to gain a different perspective on things. After all, I believe it was you who told me that travel broadens the mind. Besides, you are always telling me that you can arrive at any point in time in your craft. So it's not as if you couldn't get Turlough to where he wanted to go no matter when you decided to do so."

The Doctor looked at him with an expression of disbelief at first, but then a twinkle appeared in his eyes followed by a smile. Then he hopped up to his feet. Alistair stood up as well.

"Goodbye, Brigadier," he said, shaking his hand again. "I will take what you've said under advisement. And thank you for your help, as always."

"Of course," Alistair said with a smile of his own. "Goodbye Doctor. I'm sure I will you see you again before too long. Safe travels….well, as safe as possible for you, that is."

The Doctor gave him another mock scowl before waving goodbye and rushing out of the cabin. A few seconds later, Alistair heard the usual wheeze of the TARDIS taking off.

He chuckled and sat back down to his papers. He would have to make a few phone calls tomorrow, but he didn't mind. Despite what the Doctor had said, Alistair was certain that there would be no "taking under advisement" for his suggestion. The Doctor had already made up his mind in regards to Turlough.

Alistair just hoped that he was right about Turlough and that the boy would be equal to the experiences he was sure to be in for.


	4. Connection

Connection

 **Author's Note:** This chapter takes place right after Warriors of the Deep. There is also a prequel chapter to this in chapter four of my Snark and Ginger fic.

* * *

Once in a while, the Doctor wondered if his current regeneration had been a failure after all.

It was something that occurred to him when he realized how much his companions chose to not listen to him. When they were arguing with him. With each other. When they were running off when he warned them not to and getting into terrible trouble. Were the people he'd traveled with before always this difficult? Was it so hard to get Steven or Leela or Zoe to listen to him?

Perhaps his companions had frequently been willful. The Doctor couldn't really be sure in that moment. Maybe it wasn't so much that his companions had been independent as he was no longer able to lead them like he had in other incarnations. It was hard to think objectively when his failures were so fresh in his mind.

 _Failures like what he had allowed to happen to the Silurians and Sea Devils. To the humans at the sea base…_

 _Failures like what happened to Adric….to Nyssa…._

 _Or when the thoughts that he knew weren't his own invaded his brain._

The Doctor gasped and squeezed his eyes shut. Protocols, launch sequences, contingency plans and battle scenarios: they all flooded his mind, shoving his own thoughts away. It was a side effect of his clumsy, heavy-handed synchronization with the sea base's computer. He knew it was. He knew it would eventually pass. He knew his Time Lord mental defenses would eventually kick in and dismantle and discard the information he'd been force-fed.

That knowledge, however, did not lessen the pain he felt as his mind struggled to remain separate and autonomous from the computer's programming. A pain that was accentuated by his temples being singed when he triggered the short circuit mechanism.

Still, some irrational part of him he normally kept buried deep in his psyche was convinced that the pain and struggle he was experiencing was partially due to weaknesses inherent in his incarnation.

The Doctor leaned back in his chair and sighed. After it was all over, after the missiles had been stopped and the Silurians and Sea Devils were all dead, Tegan and Turlough helped him back to the TARDIS. Turlough had contacted someone to inform them about what had happened at the sea base while Tegan had found his cricketer outfit and had it laundered so she could help him back into it.

Once Turlough was done on the base, he'd helped the Doctor to TARDIS sick bay and treated the burns on his face while Tegan set up a lounge chair in the console room with pillows and a blanket so the Doctor could rest when he wasn't actively piloting the TARDIS.

Throughout this process, the Doctor had tried to shrug them off, insisting that they didn't need to fuss over him so much. Eventually, he'd managed to shoo them out of the console room so he could have some time to himself. Originally, he'd planned to do some additional maintenance on the navigational controls as a way to center his mind. However, after pre-programming the TARDIS to take a leisurely journey though the Vortex, the Doctor discovered that it had been a battle just to keep his thoughts clear long enough to accomplish that relatively simple chore.

As much as he loathed the thought of being inactive right now, the Doctor was still pragmatic enough to admit that it wouldn't be a good idea to fiddle with delicate TARDIS mechanisms while having his thoughts constantly interrupted by random military data.

Thus, why he was currently leaning back in this lounge chair, his head resting on one of the pillows. He had settled in with a deep scowl on his face and a petulant determination to relax as little as possible while he worked to purge himself of the programming.

The Doctor frowned even more and closed his eyes. He disliked being fussed over and forcing his companions to take care of him. That was his job. To watch over them. To protect them during their travels. To help them through any injuries or problems they were facing. It felt wrong to have those roles reversed.

Especially since it had happened before.

 _After regenerating…Nyssa and Tegan caring for him….worrying over him…when he should have been minding the TARDIS and searching for Adric…._

 _When Borusa scooped up his other selves into the Death Zone…Tegan and Turlough practically carrying him into the TARDIS….encouraging him and holding onto him so he wouldn't fade away…when he should have been working out a way to escape the Death Zone and making sure that his companions were safe…._

 _And Adric…and Nyssa…both of them sacrificing themselves because the dire situations they'd been in were beyond his ability to solve them…when he should have been the one making that sacrifice…._

The Doctor's frown softened as his melancholy grew. His previous incarnation would have never permitted any of this to happen. That wandering bohemian was too clever, too bold in his thinking. Mad and completely confident within his madness. None of his friends had died during his watch.

' _So…it's self pity now,'_ the Doctor thought bitterly. _'Something else I can add to my shortcomings of late….'_

' _ **Protocol One Alpha Six Five Delta: Target missiles approaching from Axis Point Seven. Launch sequence Zero Two Five One Nine. Counterattack strategy Red Five…'**_

The Doctor gripped the arms of his chair, his fingers shaking and his knuckles turning white. The programming was seeping into his thoughts at a higher rate as they tried to integrate themselves back into the meaningful patterns they were designed for. His mind throbbed as it rebelled against this invasion of his inner self.

' _No…I must keep it out….must focus. Focus on…focus on…on….'_

Unable to expend any more energy toward conscious thought, the Doctor allowed himself to pass out.

* * *

When he opened his eyes, the Doctor blinked in surprise over his surroundings.

He was sitting in the sync operator's chair in the sea base, still wearing the helmet that helped him link his mind to the computer.

' _Ah of course. That is why I kept sensing the computer's data in my mind. I was still here. I must have visualized myself completing my task as a way to keep my conscious mind isolated as much as possible from the computer. Oh…that was very clever of me, if I do say so myself….'_

' _But did it work? Was I able to stop the missiles?'_

The Doctor pushed the helmet out of his way and stood, his legs wobbling as he did it. He ended up having to grasp nearby furniture and fixtures whenever he could to maintain his balance. Eventually, he stumbled over to the computer console across from him and peered around the body of a Silurian who was slumped over part of it.

' _Yes. Yes, it worked. The human race survived anyway….for now….until they attempt some other petty, stupid method that threatens their existence as a species….'_

The Doctor leaned heavily against the console, bitterness welling up inside him as he surveyed the dead bodies scattered about.

' _So many dead…and for what? For nothing….a waste….'_

The Doctor's temples ached and burned. As much as he was loathe to admit it, he knew he'd probably need help to get back to the TARDIS. He opened his mouth to call out for Tegan and Turlough's assistance.

He remained silent, however, when he realized that there were nowhere in sight.

"Turlough?" he said, dismayed at how weak he sounded. "Tegan?" There was no response.

The Doctor frowned. He was certain that his companions had come with him back to the bridge. _"Doctor, you'll need some help."_ That's what Tegan had said and Turlough seemed to agree with her.

So where were they?

' _Did something happen while my mind was interfaced with the computer? Maybe some of the Silurians or Sea Devils had survived. No, impossible. The hexachromite gas would have killed them for certain unless they were immediately treated.'_

' _Still…if any of them managed to survive for more than a minute or two…I must speak to Vorshak….'_

He started to pull himself away from the console when he spotted Vorshak's body splayed onto the console next to him. The Doctor could tell from where he was standing that Vorshak was dead.

The Doctor slid down to sit on the floor. There, he could see that Icthar was also dead.

' _Two leaders trying to do what they thought best for their people….both of them swayed too far by the extremes of their ideology…both of them gone now….'_

Another flash of pain coursed through the Doctor's brain, causing him to groan and close his eyes again. He needed to get back to the TARDIS so he could rest and focus on expelling the computer's programming from his mind. Far more importantly, he needed to find Tegan and Turlough. With needless death and destruction all around him, he needed to know that they were safe.

Slowly, the Doctor climbed to his feet and resumed his stumbling about to search for them. He had almost headed toward the corridor when he spied a high heeled shoe on the floor.

Hearts pounding, the Doctor rushed over to find Tegan dead, strangled by a Silurian who still had its hands around her throat. The oxygen mask nearby told the rest of the story. Tegan had revived the Silurian with oxygen like the Doctor had requested, and the Silurian had responded by killing her as a way to avenge itself on some random "ape-primitive."

The Doctor gingerly extracted her from the Silurian's grip. Tegan had been his reluctant traveler. One who had always seemed unsure about traveling through time and space even when she agreed to come with him the second time they met on Earth. One who had an unshakable loyalty to him even with her jabs and jokes at his expense. Tegan had always been able to see the important things he had missed even when they were right in front of his face. She was the embodiment of what both exasperated him about humans and yet deeply endeared them to him at the same time.

He ran a hand along her cheek and laid her down onto the floor. He wouldn't leave her here to be disposed of as nameless victim. He would take her back to her own time and find somewhere peaceful for her remains. In the state he was in though, he knew he'd need Turlough's help to move her.

That plan was dashed to pieces seconds later when he found Turlough's body in a corner of the room behind the sync operator's post.

The Doctor stood up and walked dully over to where Turlough was. It wasn't hard to see what had happened here either. A Sea Devil was dead on the floor across from him, his weapon pointed at the chair the Doctor had been sitting in. And so Turlough…who had originally came onto the TARDIS as part of a plot to assassinate him…had shot the Sea Devil and saved his life.

Sacrificing himself in the process.

The ache in his hearts increased. From the beginning, the Doctor knew that he had his faults, but he was convinced that Turlough was a good person at the core. He had hoped that, by bringing him along on his travels rather than taking him home, Turlough could move on from an unspoken past that seemed to haunt him and could grow into the potential the Doctor was certain he possessed.

Instead, he'd led Turlough into a pointless battle that couldn't be won. And that growth and the friendship the Doctor had been trying to nurture had sealed Turlough's fate.

The Doctor sat back down, unable to walk another step. Both of his companions were gone. Dead. And it was his fault. Just like….

' _Doctor…why Doctor? I just wanted to go home….'_

The Doctor's eyes darted over to see Adric and Nyssa standing across from him, their eyes blank and yet accusing.

"Adric? Nyssa? No…no you can't be here. You're…."

' _ **Attack Scenario Four X Seven Dash Nine: Missiles approaching from South Central Base….'**_

The Doctor pressed his knuckles against the sides of his head. The backwash from the computer was fragmenting in his mind, random bits of data submerging his thoughts in one last wave. It was agony, but he was close to purging them.

Right now, he needed a way to ground his mind. A link to his essential self.

He needed his companions. But there were dead. Killed because he couldn't protect them.

' _No…I should have prevented this…I must stop this…Tegan….Turlough….'_

" _Doctor? Doctor, what is it? What's wrong? Doctor…."_

' _Tegan, Turlough…you're here…I must…Must….'_

" _Doctor! Doctor, wake up. Come on, Doctor."_

' _Tegan, Turlough…don't let go…I must….'_

" _Doctor!"_

* * *

The Doctor's eyes snapped own, a gasp escaping his lips. It only took seconds for him to become fully conscious so he could see two anxious faces hovering near him and could feel how each of them had one of his hands in their own.

"Doctor?" Tegan asked, her voice far softer than usual. "Are you all right?"

The Doctor nodded mutely. He worked to calm his heartbeats and his breathing while making sure to keep a firm grip on his companions' hands.

' _Alive. Alive and safe. It hadn't happened that way….'_

The Doctor sat up straighter in his chair. No, it hadn't happened exactly that way, but far too much of it had been real. So many had died and the repercussions would be long lasting across more than one culture. No, so much of it had still gone wrong, and it was sure to prey on his mind for a while.

But his companions…his friends…were still here. He'd protected them at least, and he tried to draw comfort from that.

He only allowed himself one more moment to reflect before another interesting fact distracted him: the pain in his head had finally dissipated.

"Doctor, what happened?" Turlough asked. The Doctor noted that Turlough's thumb was rubbing the back of his hand, a surprisingly affectionate gesture that managed to finally coax a smile out of him.

"It's nothing to worry about," the Doctor said. "Just some temporary side effects from my interface with the sea base's computer."

"Nothing to worry about?" Tegan echoed. "Doctor, you were having a nightmare and we weren't sure if we were going to be able to wake you up."

"Sorry about that," the Doctor said. "I was in the middle of expelling the programming from my brain and it didn't go as smoothly as I thought it would. It's over now though. There might be a few stray data strands that will need to be filtered out, but they should be gone in a couple of days. I'm fine now."

The Doctor watched as Tegan and Turlough gave each other a look of disbelief before focusing their attention back onto him while still holding onto his hands. He could see the suspicion in their eyes and wondered how he had managed to end up traveling with two such cynical companions at the same time.

"I am all right now, I can assure you."

"You might be conscious, Doctor, but I doubt you're all right," Tegan replied. "Hooking your brain up to that computer and then burning it out…that had to have hurt."

"Well, it wasn't pleasant," the Doctor said. "But there's no lasting damage."

"Maybe not, but I don't think it's smart for you to stop taking it easy just yet," Tegan said. "You're not indestructible, like me."

"Perhaps we should go back to the Eye of Orion," Turlough suggested. "Or somewhere else where you can stop the TARDIS and focus on recuperation."

"Turlough, Tegan, please stop fussing," the Doctor sighed. "The TARDIS will be traveling in the Vortex for a couple of days which will be plenty of time for me to be fully recovered from my experience."

Tegan and Turlough looked at each other again, a wave of silent communication passing between them. At that moment, the Doctor started to question if it would actually be a good thing for those two to decide to work together all the time.

"Look, Doctor, we know you," Tegan said. "You'll put yourself right in the middle of the next crazy situation you see wherever we land next with absolute no thought of what you've just been through. And we're not crazy enough to expect you to change."

"We are simply asking you to take some time to make sure that you've recovered," Turlough added. "We can help you mind things here or stay out of your way if that's what you want. We just…we need to be sure too because…." Turlough looked distinctly uncomfortable which Tegan noted with a sympathetic nod.

"Because you're our friend, Doctor," she said, finishing his sentence. "And we do worry about you because we care about you."

The Doctor felt warmth fill both of his hearts. He still disliked his companions troubling themselves over him, but he was grateful for their kind regard for him and could relate to the sentiments that fueled their concerns.

"All right," he said with a smile. "I've been meaning to do some extra work on the propulsion systems anyway. And we did have to cut our vacation short at the Eye of Orion that last time. I suppose a return trip is in order."

Both Tegan and Turlough nodded in agreement before finally letting go of the Doctor's hands. The three of them stood up and walked over to the console with the Doctor setting the coordinates into the computer.

The Doctor still felt distressed by what had happened at the sea base, but he knew that the only thing he could do now is learn from it and move forward. For now, that meant focusing on the things and the people he could still treasure.


	5. Sum in a Series

Sum in a Series

 **Author's Note:** This chapter takes place at some time between Earthshock and Time-Flight.

* * *

"Doctor, might I ask you something?"

At first, the Doctor did not appear to hear Nyssa's question. Instead, he continued to stare down at the console in front of him. He would flip switches, press buttons and would frown as if he were working out some complex navigation problem. While that might have been the case, Nyssa was aware that it was equally possible that the Doctor was simply trying to improvise in the face of numerous equipment malfunctions.

"Yes…those coordinates should get us to…." The Doctor lifted his head. "Ah yes. Nyssa. You had wanted to ask me something?"

A trace of a smile appeared on Nyssa's lips. Tegan would probably be annoyed by now and would accuse the Doctor of ignoring her if he had responded like that around her. Nyssa didn't see it that way. She had known more than one eccentric genius on Traken and the Doctor definitely fit the mold that she had gotten used to.

"I was wondering…about something that Tegan said," she replied. "We were talking about that last planet we visited, Delaras Four, and about how all the wars had made things so desolate there."

"Yes," the Doctor murmured. "Wars usually have that affect on a place. Unfortunately, small-minded types like those military ministers we took care of never learn this lesson." He looked over at Nyssa and tried harder to smile. "But I digress. What was your question? Was it about Delaras or some of the people there, or…?"

"It wasn't a question about Delaras specifically," Nyssa answered. "I had been talking about how horrid some of the people there had been to each other and how it had made their situation even worse than it needed to be. And Tegan said that I'd been sheltered and that I couldn't understand how it was for them."

Nyssa paused, her brow creasing slightly in consternation. "I'm not sure I understand what she meant by that, Doctor. Was it meant to be a negative comment on my character? It's true that I was a part of the ruling class on Traken and thus, was spared the hardships that others endure in other places. And my father had been kind to me and I try to follow in his example…."

Thoughts of Tremas put a small sting in Nyssa's eyes, but she managed to push past it. "But I do not see how that would make me unable to appreciate the difficulties on Delaras or perceive the problems some of the people were creating for themselves by being thoughtlessly cruel to each other."

"No, I don't think it does either," the Doctor assured her. "No, I'm pretty sure what Tegan meant was that it's hard to truly empathize with people who you don't have a common experience with. But even though you haven't endured the aftermath of decades of planetary-wide war, you can see how others are coping and can consider how you might handle a similar situation if you had to. So I don't think you have anything to worry about in that regard."

"Perhaps not," Nyssa nodded. "But Doctor, my being 'sheltered'…is that something I will need to overcome to be a better person?"

"It's not an inherently bad thing, if that's what you mean," the Doctor said. Suddenly, a blinking light caught his attention and he stopped to study one of the monitors for a few seconds before dashing over to the other side of the console. He smashed numerous buttons before letting out a sigh of relief and looking up at Nyssa with another smile on his face.

"There. That should get us back to Heathrow…eventually," he said. "Now, about what you were saying…."

Nyssa smiled back a little more. She had learned a while ago that conversations with the Doctor tended to occur in stalls and spurts.

"Being sheltered, being cared for, can be a wonderful thing," he continued. "It's what parents often do for their children to some extent or another. It's only bad when it shapes a person's entire life and future."

He gave Nyssa a wry look. "When I was on Gallifrey, I was quite sheltered as well. How could I not be with how Time Lord society shut itself off from the rest of the universe? That's part of the reason why I left. Because we were sheltered when we didn't need to be. Or when it would have been better that we weren't. And when I started my travels, it took time for me to realize how much I needed to learn because I hadn't had the opportunity to do so up to that point. Still, with time, I was able to learn and was able to let go of the less positive aspects of being sheltered."

The Doctor moved away from the console and put an arm around Nyssa's shoulders. "I'm sure all you need is time too, Nyssa. But even while you learn, don't think that your father did anything wrong in raising you the way he did or that there is something wrong with your character just because you hadn't grown up in difficult situations. None of that makes you any lesser than someone who hasn't been as fortunate."

"Thank you, Doctor," Nyssa said. Hearing the words made her realize that she had known this all along. Still, she was grateful that the Doctor had understood how important hearing the words were anyway.

"Doctor? Are we landing soon?"

Nyssa and the Doctor whirled to see Tegan walking into the console room. The Doctor responded by skittering back over to the console.

"Tegan, yes we are, in fact. And this time, we should be able to land right outside of Heathrow Airport. Just in time for your first day at work."

"Right," Tegan said, crossing her arms over her chest. "I'll believe that when it happens."

Nyssa chuckled. Despite the Doctor's assurances, she was pretty sure he hadn't been as exact as he thought he had been. Then again, she figured he was accurate when it counted anyway.


End file.
